


Cadence

by Starbuck0322



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: A kiss is never just a kiss, Angst, Episode: s05e10 Counterpoint, F/M, Jealousy, Romance, Sneaky Chakotay, Worried Chakotay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25890619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbuck0322/pseuds/Starbuck0322
Summary: Dismissed and kept out of the loop, Chakotay finds himself desperate for reassurance that his Captain is not becoming a pawn in the Devore Inspector's game.Set during and moments after "Counterpoint". The episode never had enough Chakotay content for my liking, so I added some.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> coun·ter·point - /ˈkoun(t)ərˌpoint/  
> def.: the art or technique of setting, writing, or playing a melody or melodies in conjunction with another, according to fixed rules.
> 
> ca·dence - /ˈkādns/  
> def.: a sequence of notes or chords comprising the close of a musical phrase.

=/\=

The lighting in his quarters began to brighten, signalling a new day within the expanse of their starlit, endless night.

Commander Chakotay groaned and turned within his sheets. He rubbed a hand sleepily across his bare chest.

His dreams had not been kind to him, and he vowed to take a few moments later that day for quiet reflection. He was in dire need of meditation, anything to help keep the torment of the images from his mind.

He rolled from his bed to place both feet on the floor and yawned.

From the stars outside, to the rumble of the ship's engines under his feet, he could tell they had just dropped out of warp.

“ _Janeway to Chakotay.”_

“Go ahead,” he returned attempting to hide the sleepiness in his voice.

“ _Report to the bridge.”_

“Aye, Captain.”

Chakotay released a held breath. A direct order at this hour? To the bridge?

It had been two days since she had last spoken to him. And this was it? An order? To a place he was already destined to be in a few moments. Clearly, his Captain had failed to read the day's duty roster he had carefully placed on her vacant desk the night before.

She had cancelled their morning meetings indefinitely, choosing to spend countless hours replicating a composition of mercurium isochromate instead. She was seeking a valuable offering for a scientist they were currently searching for.

She had been vacant from the bridge, locked away in the bowels of Voyager, hovered over a replicator with Lieutenant Commander Tuvok. If their concoction appeared to have impurities, they would begin again.

She was desperate for the right bargaining tool. She was hungry for perfection.

He was receiving reports that even the calm, collected Vulcan was losing his patience with the Captain. It was a rare sight Chakotay wished he could have been privy to.

Chakotay would see her, for a time, here and there around the ship, mostly locked in conversations with their new guest; seemingly lost in a dream.

Chakotay scoffed. He stood and reached for his uniform.

Kashyk, the Devore Inspector, member of the Devore Imperium, whose only mission, so it seemed, was tracking down every telepath in their sector, sometimes beyond.

The Devore considered these telepaths a danger; the ability to read minds a violation of their rights, as if these beings had something to hide.

Their current hunt – the kind Brenari people. Hunted and labelled criminals for something out of their control; a trait that should have been idolized instead of demonized. It was no wonder the Captain had taken pity on them in their plight against the Devore regime.

At least that's what he thought.

Until a few moments inside her ready room alone with Kashyk resulted in bringing the enemy on board.

And now she had granted safe passage to the self-claimed deserter.

The truth was, Chakotay did not trust him. He had known men like him. He had seen it before, time and time again; the strong exploiting the weak. Those who craved the mask of deceit, who longed to see others dangling on the end of a line like a worm.

Chakotay straightened his sleeves as he exited his quarters and ran his palms on either side of his hair flattening it.

What worried him most, was his Captain's desire for an ally, and her ability to see the good in everyone; to see their worth. Would it make them a target now? A desirable prey for the Devore Imperium, and the ships they kept trying to evade.

“Good morning, Commander,” Captain Kathryn Janeway greeted merrily as he stepped onto the bridge.

She was excessively exuberant for first thing in the morning, he thought. They must have managed to find the scientist they were searching for.

“Good morning, Captain,” he returned, rubbing the sleep from the corner of his eye as he moved into the centre of the bridge.

As he turned, he saw him; smug faced with his legs crossed, sitting in his chair. He approached Kashyk and stopped in front of him.

“Oh, right," Kashyk said, putting on airs. "This must be yours.” He stood quickly from Chakotay's chair and moved to be closer to the Captain.

“We have a small ship within range, Captain,” reported the freshly demoted, Ensign Tom Paris from the helm.

“Distance?” Janeway asked.

“Seven hundred thousand kilometres,” Paris returned. “We should be seeing it soon.”

“On screen.”

Slowly, stars passed by, moving aside, making way for a small blinking light in the distance. The ship was speedy, but no match for Voyager even at impulse.

"Let's drop to one quarter impulse, Mr. Paris," Janeway ordered. "We want to look threatening, but not _too_ threatening".

"Yes, ma'am." Paris' hands moved quickly in front of him. “Five hundred thousand,” he reported.

Slowly, the image started to take form. It was a small craft, and one that had obviously caught wind of the significantly larger vessel on its tail.

“Three Hundred Fifty.”

Kashyk moved forward to get a closer look. “That must be him.”

“Ensign,” Janeway said looking over her shoulder toward Operations.

Ensign Harry Kim looked down at his screen and glanced up quickly. “The ship has the schematics of what we were provided and is fuelled with mercurium isochromate.”

Janeway smiled and turned back to the view screen. She moved forward. “Hail him,” she ordered.

A familiar beeping sounded behind Chakotay at Operations, and he turned in his chair.

“No response.”

Chakotay stood and moved to stand with Janeway. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Kashyk moving toward her as well, and for a single, fleeting moment, he read disapproval in the Devore's eyes.

“Try again,” Janeway commanded, her eyes on Kim.

“He's trying to evade us,” Paris said over his shoulder, hands feverishly moving across his console as he tried to keep up with the small craft on their viewscreen.

“Hail him again.”

Chakotay pressed forward. “Mister Torat doesn't seem too trusting. Maybe he's been through one inspection too many.”

“No response. He's deactivated his communication system,” reported Tuvok.

“I think I can tap into his computer, override the lockout,” Kim suggested.

Janeway looked back to the viewscreen. “Do it.”

The viewscreen blipped and the backside of Torat came into view. He seemed a bipedal being and as he turned with disgust, Chakotay saw his deep-set eyes, his down-turned mouth, and ears set a long way back. He resembled someone who had possible Saurian ancestors.

“Go away!” Torat shouted behind him, his hands moving across his controls, still attempting to evade Voyager.

“This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship _Voyager_. We have no hostile intent.” She spoke clearly, reassurance in the inflection of her voice.

“Then why are you pursuing me?” he shrieked.

“We'd just like to ask you--”

“Federations. Imperiums,” Torat interrupted. “Why do you people feel such a need to align yourselves with monolithic organisations?”

“I'd be glad to discuss that and any other philosophical issue you care to raise if you would just slow down and talk,” Janeway offered calmly.

Chakotay knew Torat only had a few moments before the Captain would lose her patience.

“Sorry, can't do that. I'm late for a very important conference.”

Kashyk leaned into Janeway, his lips close to her ear. “This is a waste of time. Disable his ship.”

The Captain leaned back. “That's what we call overkill, Inspector. “Ensign,” Janeway directed towards Kim. “Can we transport at this range?”

“Absolutely,” Kim replied, impressed with himself. “Energising.”

Quickly, the small man materialized in front of them. His hands pushed out at his sides. Chakotay smiled. Transport was always odd your first time.

“Welcome aboard, ” Janeway greeted. “Your reputation precedes you.”

Torat’s nostrils puffed in and out. “What is the meaning of this?!” he exclaimed.

He took an aggressive step toward Janeway, causing Chakotay to place himself between the Captain and their new guest.

Torat slowly looked up at Chakotay. His eyes moved quickly back and forth. “What gives you the right to just take people forcefully from their own ships!” he yelled.

“Mr. Torat,” Janeway replied calmly. She took a few steps toward Chakotay, placing a hand on his back to let him know where she was, immediately calming him. “I assure you, we mean you no harm. All we want to do is talk.”

“Talk?! Talk?!” Torat was clearly agitated. His nostrils puffed in and out as he shrieked. He pressed himself against Chakotay causing him to straighten his back. “Do you always get into the habit of kidnapping people just to talk?!” He took a step back and raised his arms to the side looking around nervously at those present on the bridge. “This is an extreme inconvenience! As I have said, I have a very important conference to attend! Or perhaps you do not know the importance of _punctuality_ , of getting somewhere on _time_?”

“You have no idea.” Janeway smiled as she tilted her head. “Perhaps we can make this inconvenience worth your while?” She motioned toward her ready room. “Please. Right this way.”

Chakotay moved to follow the group, remaining just a few steps behind. When they reached the door to her ready room, Janeway turned abruptly putting up a hand to stop Chakotay.

“It's quite all right, Commander," Janeway said. “Kashyk and I can take it from here. You have the bridge.”

Chakotay placed his hands behind his back. He nodded. “Aye, Captain.”

He watched as Janeway slowly lowered her chin, and turned from him.

Even he heard the sadness in his reply.

Chakotay turned and ascended the few steps to the bridge. He raised his head to see the eyes of Paris, Tuvok, and Kim watching him carefully. He turned toward the Vulcan who had tilted his chin, one eyebrow raised in a quizzical manner. Clearly his dismissal had not been lost on any of them.

Chakotay cleared his throat. “Has the tractor beam been engaged to tow Torat's ship, Mr. Tuvok?”

“Affirmative, Commander,” Tuvok replied.

“Excellent. Continue on course, Mr. Paris.” Chakotay moved across to his seat, looking down for a moment at his Captain's chair as he passed. “The least we can do is assist the man in getting to his conference _on time_.”

=/\=

Chakotay edged around a corner on Deck 5 and came face-to-face with Lieutenant Ayala who was instructing a pair from his security personnel.

It wasn't until he neared them that he recognised the duo as the pair Ayala had assigned to take the last shift guarding their Devore guest.

Chakotay looked up from the PADD in his hand as he approached them.

He smiled at Lieutenant Natalie Jamieson. She was a former member of his crew aboard the _Val Jean_ , a damn good shot, and it was no wonder Ayala had placed her at the top of his security team from the moment they stepped on board _Voyager_.

She had once been Chakotay's choice for Chief Tactical Officer before it had been suggested by his commanding officer that a certain Vulcan officer, a deserter from Starfleet, be chosen instead. Jamieson had a knack for sniffing out trouble before it hit them, and Chakotay strongly believed that if he had listened to his gut, and put her at Tactical, Tuvok never would have stepped onto the _Val Jean_ that fateful day.

They never would have been flung into the Delta Quadrant.

They never would have been hotly pursued by a Starfleet crew.

Gone would have been their destiny to become members of Janeway's crew of misfits.

The corners of Chakotay's mouth fell and he inhaled slowly.

To Jamieson's right was straight-laced Crewman Sadhil Dewal. He had been a difficult man to get to know over the past few years. He was jittery, and a constant ball of nerves around authority, and as hard as Chakotay tried, his attempts to get Dewal to relax around him had failed.

On paper, Jamieson and Dewal seemed a pair destined for failure, but if anyone was capable of getting these two to function as a single unit, Ayala was the best man for the job. In all his years, Chakotay had never seen a more dedicated soldier, officer, and instructor.

He and Ayala had shared many stories. They had spent many hours together on the holodeck. With Ayala, his secrets were safe, and he knew Ayala placed the same trust in him; a true vindication of his loyal nature. He was blessed to call him friend.

“Commander?” Ayala greeted him formally. "Dewal and Jamieson have something to report."

Chakotay placed his hands behind his back and looked at the pair.

“Well go on," Jamieson nudged Dewal. "Tell him. He won't bite."

Dewal stepped forward and Chakotay watched the young man clench and unclench his fists. "Well you see, Sir... it's just…What I mean to say is… "

“Spit it out, Crewman,” Ayala coaxed quietly.

“I... just....” Dewal trailed.

Jamieson sighed loudly. "The Captain is with Kashyk, Chakotay.”

"And…"

“She has been. For hours. In his quarters, Commander... Sir.” Dewal swallowed loudly. “We just felt it should be reported, Sir. "

Jamieson rolled her eyes at her partner.

“I fail to see the importance,” Chakotay added. He hoped his tone was hiding his true feelings.

“We just thought you should know, Chakotay,” Jamieson retorted. Her tone was friendly, but behind it was the implication he was to seek out his own speculation.

“Very well." Chakotay relaxed his shoulders, and looked down at the PADD in his hand, nonchalantly entering keystrokes. “Thank you for your report.” Chakotay looked up and nodded. “You're dismissed.”

Chakotay moved aside. He watched as Jamieson smacked Dewal lightly on his arm, a friendly disappointment in her eyes, as they moved down the corridor, locked in a quiet argument. Dewal's hands flew out in his defence.

When his security team were out of sight, Ayala turned back to Chakotay. “Those two – constantly keeping me on my toes.”

“They seem like a good pair, Ayala,” Chakotay said honestly. “You were right to team them together.”

“They have their moments. While frustrating at times, they seem to work.” Ayala turned, smiling, but the lines on his face fell suddenly as he looked to his friend. “Listen, Chakotay. About the Captain... Is everything all right?” he asked.

In his quarters? What was she thinking? With a guard posted outside his door? She knew the crew was bound to talk.

That it would eventually get back to him

What could they be going over for hours? She had offered no report after their meeting with Torat; no instruction thrown his way. Just left him to manage the bridge while she paraded off with Kashyk.

He could still see the smug look Kashyk offered him as he left the bridge with Janeway by his side.

“Chakotay?”

Chakotay shook his head from his dream. “I'm sorry?”

“Is everything all right? Should we be worried about the Inspector?”

“No. It's fine.” Chakotay offered a reassuring smile. “The Captain has everything under control.”

Ayala nodded, and reached out to place a hand to his friend's shoulder. “You're worried about her, aren't you?”

Chakotay swallowed and his eyes fell to the floor. After all this time, he could still read him like a book.

Ayala patted his shoulder. “Say no more,” he whispered as he began to move from him.

Always the understanding Ayala. He knew his position kept Chakotay from being honest with him, and he was not offended. He knew Chakotay could not give an honest answer, as regulations and protocol kept them buried.

Without Ayala, he would have lost the faithfulness demonstrated by his Maquis. Their necessary integration into one Starfleet crew would have been a complete failure. Tyranny would have erupted, and a battle for the overthrowing of power would have come to pass if Ayala had not had the ear of his people; if he had not upheld their unified front.

“Ayala,” Chakotay called after him as he moved down the hall. “We're still on for sparing at 1900?”

“Wouldn't miss it,” he replied, turning, grinning. He pressed a hand to his right cheek and rubbed it gently. “And this time, I'll be ready for your left.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chakotay sighed as he entered the mess hall. It was late into the night, and his mind was running rampant with the images from his dream. He was desperate for a means to clear them from his head.

He had attempted to find a few moments of quiet reflection, of peaceful meditation, but his mind had raced, and the dream had taken shape.

He remembered he was barefoot, walking through deep snow within a maze of tall, bushy trees which surrounded him. Thick cloud adorned the sky, where the halo of a sun attempted to push through. The air was still. He remembered its echoing silence.

He had finally made his way to a clearing where a tree stood in its centre. Its green leaves were covered by a blanket of snow; its branches, thick with ripe, plump, red fruit.

As he neared the tree, there was movement at his feet, and slowly from the snow emerged a large, green scaled alligator.

He was completely still as he watched the alligator rise from the snow and edge forward.

There was a flicker of movement above him and Chakotay slowly turned his head. Not far from him on a thick branch, sat a large snowy owl. It's head quickly turned to Chakotay, eyes large and yellow.

Chakotay was frozen in place, transfixed by the golden eyes of the bird. The alligator slowly edged up to the tree, and as it placed a clawed foot on the smooth bark, the owl released a piercing shriek.

He felt blessed for the gift of the owl in his dream, and yet troubled by the omen it represented.

The images were still etched in his mind so vividly.

The alligator; treachery, deceit.

The owl; wisdom, clarity, and insight.

Or was the owl a warning? What could it see that he could not? What was happening in the unconscious area of his soul?

He placed the book he was carrying down and reached for a mug. It was proving to be a long night.

He was glad for the stillness of the mess hall; eager for a few moments to indulge in his reading. He placed a palm over the cover of the book in front of him. Dante’s _The Divine Comedy_. A well-loved book of Janeway’s. He was grateful her trust in him allowed him to borrow it. He was grateful for the ancient smell it released when he turned its pages.

He was also grateful he had not run into her. He would rather not walk in on them, engrossed in their work; most likely huddled close together, sharing thoughts and ideas, reaching a heightened bond.

They were on a hunt now for a wormhole and Janeway had refused help in determining its exact location. She had even refused assistance from Harry and Seven, who would have been the best candidates for the task. It was an odd behaviour for the Captain; one that was feeding his apprehension.

Chakotay heard the swooshing of the doors and he moved instinctively inside the kitchen, clutching her book carefully to his chest.

He cursed his immediate reaction as he heard their voices, instantly knowing he had made a mistake. He crouched down, sinking to the shadows in the corner of the kitchen.

His fate had already been sealed.

“I'll make us some coffee,” he heard her say clearly as she approached the kitchen’s counter.

Chakotay held his breath as he carefully pulled his legs into his chest. He was unsure where he would start to explain his position if she were to find him.

From the corner of his eye, he saw her pick up a carafe and two mugs. He slowly released his breath.

“Neelix is always leaving coffee for me for my late night, solitary work,” she said over her shoulder. “He never misses a beat.”

He watched her lips pursed together, and part slowly as she poured a cup. He studied her eyes, transfixed by her actions, darkened in hue. He was taken in by the small lines forming at the side of her mouth as she controlled her anticipation. Even in the simplest moment, she was a vision.

“You have an exceptional crew, Captain,” Kashyk said, an air of honesty to his voice.

Janeway turned from the counter. “Indeed, I do.”

What was it inside of him that made him want to stay? Was his concern edging on the side of infatuation?

Chakotay thought back to the snowy owl and the warning it provided him.

Maybe it was a simple concern by a First Officer for his Captain.

Maybe it was an obsession he would have to abandon.

Maybe it was simply a desire to see her face.

Chakotay could hear her footsteps drawing nearer, so he quietly pulled himself into a ball. He inhaled slowly, and held his breath, doing his best not to make a sound. He begged his blood to stop from rushing; begged his heart rate to return to normal so it could stop pounding in his ears.

He would not want to see the abhorrence on her face if he were to be discovered. A trust would have been broken and that would have surely shattered him. He was unsure if the pieces could ever be placed back together.

There was more shuffling as equipment was placed down. Could it be a few computers she carried? Yes, Chaktoay sighed quietly. They were intending to get to work.

 _Leave. Leave. Leave._ Chakotay begged.

“Well, Captain,” Kashyk cooed. “Perhaps we should take our coffee and go somewhere where we could focus. Perhaps your quarters?”

Chakotay's eyes widened and he turned his head as if attempting to see her reaction. His jaw locked together.

 _Don't leave. Don't leave. Don't Leave._ He begged silently.

“No,” Janeway said, and Chakotay could hear the smile in her voice. “The Mess Hall will be quite sufficient for our needs. We should be undisturbed for quite some time.” He heard her unzip her jacket. “Shall we get to work?”

His shoulders relaxed and he pulled out her book. He reached up to take his mug of coffee from the countertop in front of him.

He folded his legs, and tucked himself next to the quiet hum of the refrigeration unit. He had better get comfortable.

It was indeed proving to be a very, long night.

=/\=

Chakotay turned another page of her book and sipped his coffee.

The pair had been silently working for some time, and he had engrossed himself in the quiet solitude, hidden away from view. He placed his mug beside him on the floor, its contents nearly diminished.

It was a few moments more before their voices started to rise again, as an air of tension started to swirl outside the kitchen. It pierced through his quiet reading, and Tchaikovsky's Symphony No. 4, second movement, which played throughout the mess hall.

“Think,” Janeway said frustrated.

“I'm thinking,” Kashyk returned.

“Think harder. Four wormhole appearances less than twenty light years apart. There's no pattern.”

Chakotay wished he could stand in that moment and offer assistance. Anything to ease her frustration.

“Did you apply a fractal coefficient?”

“Didn't work,” Janeway returned.

"Neutrino flux parameters? Statistical algorithms?"

"Every one I could find.” He could hear her footsteps as she paced. “This wormhole defies analysis," she continued. "Maybe Torat was right. We're just out of our league."

Chakotay closed his eyes. He knew her frustrated hand motions instinctively. She would be placing one hand to her hip, another hand to her temple, lifting it, searching, as if the answer were concrete and would just hit her.

“It's not like you to give up. Think harder.”

Chakotay furrowed. The Captain was not giving up. She carried a determination that was unrelenting.

"How do you predict a random occurrence?" he heard her ask.

"You follow your instincts.” There was an awkward silence until Kashyk offered, “Captain?"

Chakotay moved to look up over the counter.

She was hovering over his shoulder, their faces close to one another, and Chakotay allowed himself to exhale a shaky breath.

"Counterpoint," Janeway said finally. "It's in all great music. Parallel melodies playing against one another. We've been looking at the obvious. Frequency, location, timing, but each of those parameters could have a counterpoint in subspace."

"If we could run an algorithm based on subspace harmonics, it might reveal our pattern," Kashyk added happily.

"Computer, run a subspatial transkinetic analysis on the wormhole data.”

The Computer chimed that the analysis was in progress.

“This'll take a minute,” Janeway confirmed.

Chakotay ducked down again as she moved toward her table. There was a shuffling as Kashyk stood.

“I'm going to miss this coffee of yours,” he said honestly.

“Well, I will give you the recipe.”

He smiled.

 _Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised._ Janeway's super power. It was something he had grown accustomed to aboard the ship; a comfort shared ceremoniously each morning.

He tilted his cup and looked down at the sad remnants.

“You don't sound too happy about leaving,” Janeway noted.

“The Brenari aren't about to embrace a former Inspector. I'll be feared, hated for what I represent.”

“Anxiety doesn't become you, Inspector. Try to relax a little.”

“I suppose you liked me better in uniform.”

“I haven't decided whether I like you at all.”

Chakotay looked over his shoulder. There was a tone in her voice that he was accustomed to; a playful resonance in her speech. Was it possible the Devore Inspector was growing on her?

“We call them the Kolyan Kolyar. Infinite Spirals,” Kashyk said finally.

“Beautiful,” she returned, and Chakotay strained to hear the rest of their conversation over the clicking of the refrigeration unit.

It was clear the pair had moved across the room. Chakotay risked his discovery and carefully inched to peer out over the counter once again. He was thankful he was carefully hidden by one of Neelix's large pots.

They were looking out the viewport, their bodies close to one another, locked in intimate conversation, transfixed by the swirling of purples and blues in the distance.

“I'm still counting on getting this ship home,” Chakotay heard Janeway say over the hum of the kitchen.

“Are you sure you'll be welcome when you do?” Janeway crossed her arms and moved to lean against the frame of the viewport. “I came across something else in your database,” he continued. “The Prime Directive.”

Chakotay felt the pain rise to his calf muscle. His leg jerked, and he reached a hand down to massage it.

“The Federation's cardinal protocol,” Janeway returned lightly. He saw her glance in his direction and he was quick to duck down. He strained to hear the rest of their conversation as he lifted himself once again.

“Well, let's just say I usually go with my instincts, and sort it out later at the Board of Inquiry.” She shrugged a flirty shoulder. "Those Admirals and I were on a first name basis, you know.” She raised a single finger in Kashyk's direction. “You're risking a lot, too. Why?”

Yes, Why? Chakotay wondered as he carefully straightened his cramped muscle.

“Three months ago my teams were inspecting a plasma refining vessel,” Kashyk began. “We found a family of telepaths hiding in one of the extraction tanks. There was a child, very young. She'd been inside it for days, barely able to breathe. When I lifted her out and set her down on the deck, she thanked me. I sent her to a relocation centre with the others, knowing full well what would happen to her. After that, I could think of nothing else, and when I couldn't stand it any longer.”

Chakotay watched the lines disappear from his Janeway's face as she held Kashyk's eyes. Was she truly captivated by his story? Was he looking for her forgiveness for this heinous act? Or was he playing her, hoping every carefully placed word, tugged at her heart?

“You're my deliverance, Captain,” Chakotay heard Kashyk say.

Chakotay's brow furrowed, his jaw clenched.

“Analysis complete.”

Chakotay ducked and quietly moved back to the safety of his hiding spot. He picked up her book and clutched it to his chest. “Saved by the bell,” he whispered.

There was shuffling and finally, Janeway exclaimed. “It worked.” Chakotay heard the smile in her voice. “It looks like it'll appear in about three days, less than eight light years from here.”

“The Tehara system.”

“Is that a problem?”

Yes, is that a problem? Chakotay thought, echoing his Captain's sentiment. How much longer were they to be burdened with the Inspector?

He longed to be free of him, and it was apparent from his obvious flirtations, it was time for him to go.

“There's an automated sensor array between here and Tehara,” Kashyk said matter-of-factly.

“Can we go around it?”

“We'd never make it in time. We'll have to find a way to avoid detection.”

The Captain sighed. “Let's do it in the morning. We've done enough for tonight.”

Chakotay stretched his legs, and groaned slightly, immediately holding his breath hoping no one had heard him.

The inflections in her voice and the movement of her body, were all different this evening. There was a vulnerability in her voice. It was one she shared so infrequently. It was one he had been privileged to hear on occasion.

Chakotay inhaled sharply.

Could it be lust?

“Are you saying goodbye?” the Captain asked sleepily. “There will be other spirals.”

“They've just never looked quite so beautiful before.” He paused. “Could be the company I'm keeping.”

Chakotay looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. He hoped the disgruntled sigh that escaped him was still undetectable by the pair.

“Or the polarisation axis of the windows,” Janeway replied matter-of-factly.

Chakotay smiled and nodded his approval.

But still he had never heard her like this. There was a softness to her voice; an alluring resonance that seemed to linger in the air.

Could she really have fallen so easily?

Could the trust they had built over the past five years simply be abandoned after only a few short days with this man?

Chakotay began to roll from his corner, leaving the soft hum of the refrigeration unit behind.

“Perhaps we should call it a night,” she offered.

Kashyk offered no reply, and Chakotay could hear them move around the room in a shuffling dance. He strained to look over the counter.

He watched as Kashyk raised a hand and placed it carefully against Janeway's cheek, and he watched as something softened in his Captain's eyes. It was a look he had only witnessed a few times before; when her blue eyes had locked with his, and she had offered a slight glance, exposing the beauty of her soul and the vulnerability she had always tried so hard to hide.

There she was. Her eyes locked with another man. There was his Kathryn.

The moment was fleeting, and she turned from Kashyk's touch, offering a slight shy smile as her shoulders straightened and her brow raised over one eye.

His Captain returned.

The doors to the mess hall opened quickly and the pair turned, moving down the hall, leaving Chakotay alone with the fading sounds of Tchaikovsky's symphony and the sad harmonics they instilled within.

Ayala moved from his post, taking a slight stop to look within. His eyes locked on Chakotay. He was unfazed by discovering him in the room. He offered Chakotay a slight nod and followed the Captain and the Devore Inspector down the hall.

=/\=


	3. Chapter 3

Chakotay lifted his eyes from the PADD in his hand and swivelled in his chair to look out his office viewports. The stars flew by quickly as Voyager took on incredible speed.

He leaned back in his chair and sighed.

If only his thoughts would form without causing him sorrow. If only he could find the words to bring her in closer, so he could relieve the torment dwelling within.

He could tell her how the Earth didn't matter. How the journey was more important to him. That it was time to spend with her, and every moment of trying to get home, instilled a heartache deep within him. That it was pulling her further from him.

His future lying in the balance, unclear.

The present was his only safety, and he would continue to desperately cling to it. He would risk it all if it meant one more moment locked in her eyes.

But she had altered the plan and passed on her impersonal orders, leaving an addendum to the crew manifest on his desk.

He looked down at her written word in his hand. The PADD blinked up at him. The cursor awaited his approval on her orders, making it unbreakable.

Instead of fleeing this part of space, they were to wait for Kashyk at the wormhole. After, he would become part of the crew. She had already requested quarters, and given him a provisional rank.

Chakotay envisioned Kashyk as a new member to the crew. He grimaced as the image of Kashyk in a Starfleet uniform gripped his mind. What would he look like in Starfleet command colours, sitting in his chair?

He scoffed as he thought of his Captain creeping into his office in the late hours, leaving her orders on his desk. By doing so, she had denied him the opportunity for rebuttal, to plead his case.

They should have abandoned any notion that included the Devore Inspector, and got out of this part of space while they still could.

He closed his eyes and sighed again.

He knew he had no choice. He would always follow her, unable to shake from her, always faithful. For his was an unbreakable bond. It was a bond that could withstand the threat of any outsider.

He expected the rumble at his feet before it happened. Knowing the engines and the hum they made, they had dropped out of warp.

It was time.

The door to his quarters buzzed so suddenly he wondered if he had heard it correctly.

“Come in,” he said with halted breath.

The doors opened and Ayala entered to stand within. “Chakotay, you wanted to know.” He placed his hands behind his back. “Kashyk's ship is ready for departure.”

Chakotay nodded slowly. “Thank you, Ayala.”

Chakotay pressed his lips together and looked down at the PADD in his hands. He moved his thumbs over keys, applying his approval to her orders.

=/\=

Chakotay entered through the doors to the shuttle bay. She had not asked him to be there, but he was anxious to see Kashyk off the ship, even if it was only to be for a short time.

He held the PADD in his sweaty palm. He wanted to look her in her eyes as he provided his approval. He wanted her to see the pain in his eyes, his uncertainty, and how it pained him to move along with her plan.

“Something you need, Commander?”

Chakotay looked up to see Kim lower himself on the ladder from where the main controls were held above the bay.

“Hi Harry,” Chakotay grinned. “I didn't think I'd see you down here.”

Kim stood with his back straight. “The Captain asked I come down and take a personal look over Kashyk's shuttle.” He motioned over his shoulder. “The shuttle is ready, but the bay doors seem to have a mind of their own right now.” He placed a hand on his hip and moved to a nearby panel. “Looks like we will have to use a manual open. Voyager just doesn't seem to want to cooperate.”

“Maybe she doesn't want Kashyk to go,” Chakotay offered.

“She would be one of a very few.”

Harry sighed heavily.

“Something on your mind, Harry?” Chakotay asked.

“Yes,” Harry said as he neared Chakotay once more. “Would you allow me to speak freely?”

“Of course.”

“Is there something going on with the Captain, Chakotay?”

“What do you mean?” Chakotay lowered his voice.

“Well, you have to admit, she has been acting odd lately.”

“I'm not sure what you mean.” Chakotay looked down at the PADD in his hands, the official document beaming up at him.

“What I mean?” Kim's eyes grew wide. “You don't think all this time she has spent with this Devore is odd?”

“The Captain can spend her time any which way she desires.”

“Come on, Chakotay. You have to see it. How close she has been with him? Rumour has it that he is going to be staying?”

Chakotay smiled. Nothing got by Kim. He was afraid the rumours had been circulating. He rubbed a sweaty palm carefully against his pant leg.

“Chakotay,” Harry continued. “I have to admit the crew are becoming suspicious and are questioning the Captain's motives.” Harry crossed his arms. “Is she seriously thinking about bringing this guy on board? Permanently?"

Chakotay took a long, deep breath. “The Captain has never led us astray before, Harry. I doubt she would start doing so now.” He placed a hand to Kim's shoulder. “I trusted her then, I trust her now.”

Kim unfolded his arms. “Is that really what you think?”

“Engineering to Kim,” boomed the voice of Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres.

Kim released a quick breath. “Go ahead.”

“Can I see you? It's important.”

Kim inhaled sharply. “I'll be right there.”

“I'll take care of the bay doors,” Chakotay offered.

Kim raised a hand toward the Commander. “Thanks, Chakotay.”

As Kim left, Chakotay moved to ascend the short ladder to the control room above the bay.

He placed his PADD on the desk in front of him and cracked his knuckles. He racked his brain in an attempt to recall the sequence for the bay door override.

“Come on, girl,” he urged _Voyager_. “Help me out on this one.”

He let his hands do the work over the command codes. He pressed a final button and looked up to see the doors move aside and the bay's protective shielding immediately rise.

“Thanks, girl,” he said as he patted the console in front of him.

He instructed the doors to be closed again, and he looked down as he heard footsteps below. Kashyk entered, with the Captain not far behind. He stopped and turned and Janeway moved to stand close to him.

“Begin pre-ignition sequence,” Kashyk barked at the ship.

She stood intimately close as she tilted her head upward. Her lips moved and Chakotay struggled to hear her over the sound of the bay's venting.

Chakotay was close enough to peer down and see her features soften and her eyes warm as she looked up at Kashyk. Faint lines of hope began at the corners of her mouth, as her eyes moved from Kashyk's to look out onto the bay as the ship's engines ignited.

The moment was hurried, and awkward, but Kashyk took Janeway by the shoulders and pulled her in for a quickened kiss. Janeway was slightly taken off guard by his offering.

Chakotay watched her eyes open slowly. They danced over Kashyk's face and her hands reached up to pull him down to her, finding his lips again.

Chakotay swallowed the lump in his throat; a shaky breath escaped him.

Janeway's offering was warm and inviting, and their hands moved to wrap around one another in a comfortable embrace.

Chakotay looked down at the controls in front of him. The ship had finished its pre-ignition sequence. It was about time for Kashyk to depart.

He glanced as Kashyk took Janeway's hand and kissed it, and they shared one last look of longing before he moved to his ship.

Janeway stepped forward, her back to Chakotay, and she watched Kashyk leave. It was not until Kashyk's ship was out of sight, and the doors to the bay had begun to close, that Janeway turned.

She took a deep breath, and Chakotay watched as she straightened her shoulders. A new look spread across her face.

He strained slightly to read her face. It was clear her eyes had darkened. Her fists clenched and she rolled her neck. Her lips were pressed tightly together. Her jaw clenched.

Something had changed within his Captain. Gone was the flirty, hopeful, hungered woman. Below stood a determined, cautious Captain. Chakotay knew her. He had seen that look before.

A slow smile spread to his face as he watched her leave the bay.

It was evident the Captain would not be played a fool in this apparent game of Kashyk's.

Chakotay was certain his Captain held the ace.


	4. Chapter 4

The corridors were alive with excitement as Chakotay made his way to the turbo lift.

Once again, Janeway had managed to steer them out of harm's way. The Brenari people had safely escaped Devore imprisonment; Voyager and her Captain's cunning intuition responsible for their safety.

Kashyk and his team had left in a hurry. He had watched each ship turn about, thankful for their warp trails which were taking them far, far away.

He wished he could have been there, to see the look on Kashyk's face as Janeway showed her ace.

He was anxious to get the bridge. He was ready to take his chair, to re-enter coordinates and plot the way home. He was ready for life aboard the ship to return to normal.

Ahead of him, two crewman from engineering were locked in a heated conversation, completely oblivious to his presence. Chakotay instantly knew the behaviour and he smiled.

A wager had been made.

Chakotay approached Crewman Erica Harris. "So which one of you two had holodeck rations down on the Captain?"

“Uh, Commander,” Harris turned quickly, face turning red. “We were just--" She inhaled sharply. "It's not that I didn't doubt--”

“It's all right,” Chakotay acknowledged.

He leaned toward Crewman Rebecca Hodgson who stood to his right beaming.

He lowered his voice. “You were wise to not bet against the Captain.”

He winked and carried on his way to the lift.

Under normal circumstances, he would have too, if he had not had his own doubts. He reached the turbolift and stepped inside.

The doors to the lift opened with ease and Chakotay stepped out onto the bridge. He looked to the Captain's chair and found it vacant.

The triumphant final bars of Mahler's Symphony Number One, Second Movement, played, falling quickly into a hectic finish.

The room suddenly fell silent.

He made his way forward. His breath seemed to echo oddly in the air. He was used to the busy atmosphere of the bridge; never the quiet solitude of a night shift.

He reached up to touch his combadge. “Chakotay to Ensign Kim,” he spoke clearly.

“ _Kim here.”_

“You are now free to assemble your night crew.”

“ _Acknowledged.”_

He rounded the corner to see a familiar pair of crossed legs, adjacent to the Captain's chair.

“Keeping it warm for me?” Chakotay toyed.

Janeway looked up slowly, a tired confirmation in her eyes. “Yes. Apologies, Commander.”

“I'm happy to report, the Inspector and his team have left the ship.”

She was silent, hands folded neatly in her lap. She seemed lost in her thoughts, and he followed her eyes to the spot on the floor of the bridge where her sights had set.

“Captain?”

“I'm sorry?” she looked up, solemnly. There was a noticeable distance in her voice, a glossiness to her eyes.

“Kashyk has left the ship. We are free to continue on course.”

"I see."

Janeway looked down at her hands again and brushed her thumb over her palm.

“Would you care to have a cup of coffee with me?” he offered.

She looked up slowly. “How about something a little stronger?”

Chakotay clasped his hands behind his back. “Whiskey?”

Her eyes widened in pleasant surprise. She raised a single digit in his direction as she stood. “Now you're talking.”

She raised a hand to her forehead, and placed a hand to her hip as she led the way to her ready room, and with his hands clasped in his dutiful stance, the Commander followed.

She moved with heavy steps toward her replicator. “Two whiskeys. Macallan. 18 years. Neat.”

She turned, two glasses in hand, and moved to where he stood at the front of her desk. “You know, this damn machine hasn't been good for much, but it has been able to replicate what could pass for a pot of coffee, and a decent vintage whiskey.”

He took a sip. She downed hers and quickly moved to place the short tumbler into the replicator. She requested another.

He looked down at his glass. “We came close today.”

“Close to what?” she asked edging up beside him.

“Close to becoming another pawn in Kashyk's game.” He leaned slightly against her desk. “It was quite the risk you took.”

“It was nothing of the sort.” She looked down into her glass and sipped slowly. “He was playing into my hands from the very start."

“Was he?” He took another sip holding it in his mouth for a moment, enjoying the enriched flavours of spice and orange against his tongue. “Not from what I could see.”

She raised an eyebrow. “And what could you see?”

“Enough to know you were being played. And that you came dangerously close to being victim to the game he was playing.”

“You were seeing things.”

“I think it was pretty clear from what I saw in the Shuttle Bay.” He moved from her, averting her eyes. He finished the contents of his glass and went to the replicator to request another.

“I beg your pardon?” she turned slowly, watching as he moved. “Have you been spying on me, Commander?”

Her voice had turned formal, and in so many few words, she was putting him back in his place. He turned slowly, looking up at her scorn filled eyes. “Spying? No. Keeping the best interests of the crew and safety of our Brenari friends in mind? Yes.”

“What did you think I was going to do?” She lowered the glass from her lips, and placed it on her desk. She waved a hand, begging him to answer her. “You are overstepping the structure of command here, Chakotay. I will remind you that I am the Captain, and I always have the last say.”

He moved quickly toward her. “Then I will remind you, if you continue to keep me in the dark on important matters like this, you are doing a disservice to this crew. I will always have the them in my best interests. And this includes my Captain. Especially if I have to protect her from a low-life, scum _Gaharay_ whose true intentions were far less than admirable.”

Gaharay, the Devore word for Strangers. If anything, he had picked that up from their visitor.

A slow wry smile came to her face.

He froze. He pushed his brow together. “What?”

“Commander...” Her teeth showed through tight lips. “You're jealous.”

He shook his head. “No. I was worried.” His eyes lowered to her lips. “You've never locked me out like before. Kept me in the dark.” He watched her face slowly soften with his words. “You have always confided in me.”

She reached forward and placed a hand to his arm. “I apologise for leaving you in the dark. I won't do it again. Forgive me?”

He smiled warmly. “Always.”

She was quiet.

“Are you all right?” he asked hesitantly.

“Am I all right?” she repeated. Her voice had lowered. “We are safe away from Devore space. From the worry of constant interruptions. Why wouldn't I be?”

He cocked his head. “It's just. Maybe the Inspector had more of an effect on you than you might care to admit.” He took a drink. “Maybe it's what influenced the decision you made in the shuttle bay.”

Her mouth began to drop. She crossed her arms. “So you were there? Spying?”

“Not spying.”

"Not spying in the shuttle bay..." she trailed.

"It was quite the kiss,” he confessed. “Especially when you dove back in for seconds."

Her cheeks were beginning to show red, but still she held her command posture, and allowed him to continue.

"Funny," he smiled. "I didn't think he was your type."

Janeway's eyes moved over his chest. "If you must know, tall, dark, mysterious, and well-read is exactly my type."

Chakotay tried his best, but the smile spread to his cheeks, his dimples showing.

"You are jealous."

He shook his head.

"What else explains you keeping tabs on me."

“I was simply observing my Captain being seduced.”

“I was hardly being seduced.” She shook her head slightly and moved from him to stand in the centre of the room. “I thought you thought more highly of me,” she said with an air of playfulness. Slowly, she turned. “Commander, sometimes jealousy is simply that, and sometimes a kiss is just a kiss.”

“A kiss is never just a kiss.” He took another sip from his glass and swallowed slowly. He lowered his glass to her desk and started to saunter toward her, each footstep carefully placed. “There is always something behind it. There's the kiss to the forehead – protective and supportive. The kiss to the hand- chivalrous and admirable. The peck to the cheek – of greeting and friendship. The simple lip. The lingering. There's the neck – sensitive and vulnerable. The French – passion and romance.” He had neared her now, dangerously close, just inches from her face. His eyes moved to focus on her mouth as her smile disappeared from her face. “Then there's the arms encircling, going in for more, shared between a Captain and a Devore Inspector.”

Janeway licked her lips slightly, and her mouth opened. Her eyes moved to rest on his lips. “Well, that's all that was. Just a kiss.”

“You see, I don't think it was.” His eyes moved across her face, and rested on her lips again. “Not from the way you held each other. Not from the passionate way you pulled yourself back into his arms.” He smiled as his voice lowered. “Oh, Captain. That was more than just a kiss.”

“You're wrong,” she said breathlessly.

“Prove it.”

Her eyes started to move rapidly across his face as he closed in the distance between them. Her arms still crossed, he reached to hold her by her forearms and immediately swooped in to take her lips, just as he had seen Kashyk do.

His lips were hesitant at first and her arms flexed under his palms. He was prepared for her hands to reach up and push him away, for a fist to make contact with his cheek, but in her hesitation, there lay the slight possibility she was determined to prove him wrong.

The seconds beat by slowly until he pulled from her, just as he had seen the Devore Inspector do in the shuttle bay. He looked down to see her eyes moving over him.

A softness had returned to her eyes again, and he was grateful to see it.

His Kathryn.

Finally, her eyes reached his lips, and she released her arms reaching forward to pull herself back into him. Her hands reached up to take his face

His thumbs caressed her cheek, grateful for her gift. His fingers reached out carefully to play along her lobes. He let his lips move against her, and felt her jaw relax in his palms.

He held her face in his hands as he carefully worked her mouth, drawn in by her warmth and the sweetness of her lips. The taste of whiskey lingered and he could smell the faint hint of her lipgloss. He fought back the urge to part her lips and taste her.

Her hands reached up to the back of his head, and a tightness gripped his stomach. She was willing, entranced by his motions. She did not push him away even when his hand moved to cradle the back of her head, fingers entwining carefully in her hair. He shifted toward her, breathed her in as her tongue was the first to reach forward, parting his lips easily. She searched his mouth, as tongues danced, and arms encircled, embracing, holding tightly until the kiss faded and he pulled back to see her eyes closed, her lips parted, her mind held entranced in the moment.

She licked her lips.

He watched her chest rise and fall rapidly in the attempt to bring her senses back in line. He placed a hand to her cheek as her eyes opened. Her dark blue eyes danced.

He offered her a smile.

Every time he saw her, it was like the first time.

Her cheeks had flushed and a new shade of red adorned her lips. They were darker now, calling out to him, inviting him back again.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, and with it pushed down his desire to reach out for her again; to cling to her body and strip away whatever blockade had grown between them the last few weeks.

And as if reading his mind, she moved closer again, and he met her.

The lips happily reunited, and tongues continued their dance, refusing to let go. Fingertips trailed his hairline. Her hands, hands he had envisioned. Hands he had watched and studied. Lips, he longed for. Again and again.

Finally, she pulled, and breathed heavily against him.

They knew the next move would be the stripping of uniforms, and crossing boundaries carefully placed - expertly worked on.

His lips moved to her forehead and he placed a gentle kiss to her brow.

“So,” he said softly, smiling against her. “Just a kiss?”

=/\=

When his hands had finally released her, she straightened her hair, and moved to her desk to pull a glass of water from its surface. She drank slowly, and kept her back to him, unable to meet his eyes while she gathered herself together; until the blood ceased to rush within her, and the storm inside had calmed.

She knew the answer to her question even before her lips parted, and yet she still inquired. “So how long have you been wanting to do that?”

She turned as he moved slowly toward her, nearing dangerously close, causing her to reach behind her to grip her desk for stability. He leaned into her, and her lips parted in anticipation. His cheek brushed by her as he reached behind to pick up his unfinished glass of whiskey.

His eyes moved slowly to rest on her lips. “Since the day I first met you.” His voice had lowered and he smiled shyly. “And every day since then.” Raising the glass to his lips, he emptied its contents into his mouth. Her eyes moved to his neck as she watched the liquid move down his throat. He smiled, his eyes finally moving from her lips, finished with his careful study. “And I'll keep trying. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...”

The Commander placed his glass down, and turned toward the door. It whooshed closed as he left.

_A kiss is never just a kiss._

Janeway reached up to place a fingertip to her bottom lip. She still felt the remnants of his touch; the softness of lips, the warmth of his mouth.

_Since the day I first met you._

She had watched him fall in love with her, she too becoming desperately defenceless to the magnetism of their bond; to the passion that stirred within her when she was with him.

And for the good of the mission, she kept her feelings buried deep down.

But as the days passed by, as stars and the distance to their final destination became nearer, he was slowly chipping away at her armour, and her desperate attempts to keep them professional was becoming increasingly difficult to uphold.

And now there was a kiss shared.

Helplessly, she had watched his emptiness fill with parts of her, while he struggled with the feeling he would never be enough.

But the truth was he was enough. He was all she needed.

He was the peacefulness that had grown within her over the last five years. He was the comfortable silence she desired; the quiet that sheltered her from the storm outside. He was where she could survive one more day in the vast unknown and be at peace with the uncertainty of it all.

And somewhere in the future, there was a place where they were together, and that was what she would keep telling herself when the nights got cold. When the loneliness tugged at her heart, refusing to shake her from its grasp; when all she wanted was someone to hold her, so she could stop the ache and truly be free.

There was a place for them, and one day they would find it.

A place of affinity, of devotion, of home.

She was reassured of the future they were carefully building together with every morning meeting, with every smile he gifted her, and every time he would reach for her.

She was reassured every time he would call her by her name, and she would hear, “ _I love you_ ”.

_And every day since then._

She blushed as she smiled to herself, and she placed a hand to her cheek feeling the heat beneath her palm. “Oh, Commander,” she said to herself. “Promise me you'll never stop.”

  
  
  



End file.
